Dear Margaret:  I’m known by my friends to be emotionally strong, and am also in a profession that requires a good deal of inner strength. My problem is that almost every time I get together with my mother, whom I love dearly, she accuses me of being overly sensitive. She has a way of zeroing in on something that will hurt my feelings, and when it does, she says I’m just too sensitive. I always deny that I’m too sensitive, and she scoffs at me. I want to continue a good relationship with her, but I can’t figure out how to get past this. I want our relationship to move beyond this. It’s beginning to feel like a game.
Hurt by Mom
 
Dear Hurt by Mom: Those that appear to others on the outside to be a tower of emotional strength are quite often the most sensitive individuals I know. You and your mom are engaged in a dance of sorts each time you meet. She accuses you of being too sensitive, you deny it, and she scoffs. Why deny the truth to your mother? I suggest you change your dance step by saying something like, "You know Mom, you’re right. It seems the older I get the more sensitive I become."  She won’t be able to take the next, all too familiar step, and the game will be over. Sensitivity is not a character flaw. It is the mark of a caring, compassionate individual.

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