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dearmargaretDear Margaret: I live in a modest home, and while my possessions are not monetarily valuable, they are my treasures and my home is my castle. I’m single and don’t have children. My problem is when friends with children come to visit, they allow their kids free reign of my house. They run around, play with my possessions like they are toys, and generally make a mess of my house. The parents seem unperturbed by all of this and say nothing about the misbehavior. How can I address this issue? I don’t want to insult my friends, but I don’t want their children destroying my house!
Frustrated Queen of my Castle

 
Dear Frustrated Queen of My Castle: Children simply cannot be expected to be seen and not heard. They have unbridled exuberance and curiosity that shouldn’t be contained, but can be redirected. You can expect them to abide by the rules of your house. Pick up some interesting toys or curiosities and put them in a box. They don’t need to be expensive. Designate an area of your house or yard where they can play. Let them know the rules. If you don’t allow running in the house, tell them so, but let them know it would be appropriate to run in the yard instead. If they pick up one of your 'treasures,' let them know it is not for them and direct them to toys that are special and just theirs. You don’t need to be apologetic to the parents as long as you are reasonable and provide alternatives for the children. If the children do not cooperate and the parents do not intervene, you’ve done all you can and it would be best to meet with your friends at their houses or another location.


Click Here to write to Dear Margaret.  Margaret Snow is a Life Coach in Ithaca, NY.

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