dearmargaretDear Margaret: For a number of years I’ve watched my wife and now teenage daughter go to battle over anything and everything. It seems like my daughter does things to purposely irritate her mother. If her mother says the sky is blue, my daughter says its more azure. You get the idea – they argue when they are actually of the same opinion. When I point it out I become the bad guy. It’s tiring listening to these two. I know they love each other, and the funny thing is they are just alike in personality and temperament! They exhaust me. I’d love nothing better than to come home to a peaceful household. How can I facilitate a peace treaty?
Domicile in Discord
Dear Domicile in Discord: From what you describe, your wife and daughter are, in all reality, extremely close allies with a communication problem. Love takes many forms, and when personalities are so similar, friction is quite often inevitable. Would they be willing to consider talking to a mediator or family counselor? It will take an independent third party to point out all of their similarities which are causing the tensions. If they are open to doing something fun and different, an astrologer can run a chart for them that will point to areas of marked similarity and open up a conversation for understanding.  Whatever the method used to bring mother and daughter together and bring peace to the family, an atmosphere of love must prevail. Since your wife is the adult in the conflicts, it will fall to her to set the example. Your daughter needs to know she is heard and loved. In the meantime, your wife would do well to be discriminative about when it is important to be assertive and when to let things go.

Click Here to write to Dear Margaret.  Margaret Snow is a Life Coach in Ithaca, NY.