Dear Margaret: I’m a 42 year old woman who is with a kind, loving and supportive husband. I have two great teenage children, live in a nice suburban house and have a good job. And I’m bored. There’s a guy at work that is showing romantic interest in me and I find myself daydreaming about how exciting it would be to have an extramarital affair. I know this would destroy my family, but I feel like I have needs that aren’t being met at home. I’m torn. I don’t want to make a mistake I can’t recover from. I feel like a horrible person for even entertaining these thoughts. What advice can you give me?
Torn

Dear Torn: Restless at midlife is not bad nor is it uncommon. If you were truly not in love with your husband and unhappy in your marriage, my advice might be different. The key is to think long term and weigh the risks and benefits. If you decide to remain monogamous, you still deserve excitement in your life. Talk with your spouse about your desire to bring spice into your life and marriage, plan for it, and follow through. Repressing your desire for new experiences can only cause you to feel miserable and unfulfilled. This is a great time in your life to explore uncharted territory that can enrich your life and maybe even your marriage.

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