dearmargaret I work for a small company that has become a family run business. The owner's wife, her sister, and sister's husband are all employed by the company. It feels very much like a dysfunctional family here. Those unrelated to the boss are like children caught in the crossfire between family members. If the boss and his wife have had an argument prior to coming to work, it's pretty apparent and all the employees need to walk on egg shells. If the wife's sister is angry or jealous of an employee, she puts a bug in her sister's ear and that employee pays dearly. The problem is, we are all highly paid and it's hard to come by another job paying as well. How can I survive the stress of this position until I find other employment?
Caught in Crossfire

Dear Caught in Crossfire: The question is, for how long and how far are you willing to be treated so poorly? What are your limits? Is your own family also suffering due to the stress you suffer? From your examples, it sounds like the wife is the real boss of the organization. Only you can determine when the balance between financial benefits and emotional stability become so out of whack that you need to quit before you find alternative employment. Conventional wisdom would probably suggest that you talk to the employer. If they just know how you feel they will try to improve the work environment, right? In my experience, that isn't the case. It is especially counterproductive if the one confronting the employer is an employee not paid to help improve their attitude.

Here's more counter intuitive advice. Make nice with the boss's wife, as much as possible, until such time as she either crosses the line (which I suggest you determine what that means) or you find employment elsewhere. You know you are being bought or kept, but if that sacrifice means feeding your family, so be it until they either cross your line or you can afford to quit. I do hope you are being proactive in finding a position with another firm. Best of luck to you. This is a difficult situation.


Click Here to write to Dear Margaret.  Margaret Snow is a Life Coach in Ithaca, NY.

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