Dear Margaret: I recently visited my son, daughter-in-law and new granddaughter. I don't feel that I but in and offer advice where it isn't needed, but this is their first baby and I know when they struggle with things I can be helpful. Both my son and his wife, however, get annoyed with me when I offer suggestions. How can I offer them sound advice that will save them anxiety without them taking offence?
Just Want to Help

DearJust Want to Help: The short answer is you can't. When and if they want your advice, and at some point they very well might, then you can offer the benefit of your experience. I don't doubt you could be very helpful to them, but as new parents they are probably unsure of themselves and feel they have something to prove. Many a parent has brought home a new baby thinking the hospital must have been out of their minds to let a newborn come home with someone without a clue as to the care and feeding of a small human. The miracle is all those babies survive. Let the new parents find their own way. Let them know you're available should they ever need your help, but until then the best way to help is to express to them your confidence that they are good parents.

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