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Lansing's Advice Column
Dear IMO,
My son is a junior at SUNY Buffalo. This summer, we had a series of arguments about faith. He claims there is no such thing as God, or the soul, and questions many aspects of faith. He sincerely believes that if he can’t see it, then it does not exist. He refused to attend church with us. We have raised all of our children in the Catholic faith, and there has never been a problem until this summer when our son returned home from college.
I tried to get him to read some rather up to date books on theology and questions about faith, but he refuses. I am really concerned that he is straying from his faith and from everything that we have taught him. My husband thinks it is just a phase in our son’s life, and he’ll work things out on his own. I’m not quite so sure. Is there anything you can think of that might get him back on track? My son is a junior at SUNY Buffalo. This summer, we had a series of arguments about faith. He claims there is no such thing as God, or the soul, and questions many aspects of faith. He sincerely believes that if he can’t see it, then it does not exist. He refused to attend church with us. We have raised all of our children in the Catholic faith, and there has never been a problem until this summer when our son returned home from college.
Sincerely,
Sandy
Dear Sandy,
Unless he’s a train, I’m not sure that I or anyone else can get him back on track. He is beginning to use his mind and intellect, and so he is questioning many aspects of his life. One of these is a belief in the Divine. As someone who has spent some time in the ministry, I believe this is quite natural for a young man or woman to wander away from his or her beliefs and spend some time questioning them. Your son may be looking for answers to some difficult questions, and the Catholic Church may not be providing what he needs right now.
Yes, it is unsettling to see your child stray away from the teachings of a faith that has brought comfort and direction to you and your family. He is an adult. He has chosen to wander around the religious and philosophical world of beliefs and ideas. He cannot be coerced or threatened back to church. You might give him a copy of "The Confessions" by St. Augustine. He wrote the book at a time in his life when he questioned much of what he believed, and we know where he ended up.
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