Archive: Arts & Entertainment

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You need Java enabled to view the crossword applet. If you do not have Java installed you can obtain it from java.com. If do have Java you may need to check your security settings to make sure that applets are enabled, especially if you are viewing the puzzle from your hard disk. In Windows XP you may be able to enable the applet by clicking on the yellow bar at the top of the window and selecting "Allow blocked content".

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Smart TalkSMART TALK
by Dr. Molto Breve

MOST IMPORTANTLY:  Some patients at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired are adverb-compulsives.  They are usually treated at the Alfred Kahn Clinic, because this disorder is related to William F. Buckley Syndrome.

Before intensive therapy trains them to conclude with, "and most important...," they not only say most importantly but also firstly, secondly, and lastly, giving themselves an aura of self importance.  We therapists enjoy the irony that they are speaking or writing importantly.

Making the same grammatical error, they always feel badly about others' misfortunes.

Being a failed attempt to cover insecurity about one's failure at fluency in English as a First Language (EFL), adverb compulsion isn't at all pretty.

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If “music is the food of love,” then Florence Foster Jenkins is the surprise dessert. SOUVENIR, a Fantasia on the Life of Florence Foster Jenkins by Stephen Temperley, opening for previews on June 6 at the Kitchen Theatre Company, is a hilarious, loving and moving tribute to a woman who followed her dreams no matter how misguided. 

Born in 1868, real-life Ms. Jenkins always wanted to study music. But not until the death of her wealthy parents, who disapproved of her stage desires, was she able to pursue her passion to become a great soprano. Her goals were worthy, her voice was not. But even lacking musicianship, ear, voice, and rhythm, she was not deterred.  She engaged the talented accompanist, Cosme McMoon, and then attempted to scale the concert heights, including a Carnegie Hall recital.

Smart TalkSMART TALK
by Dr. Manda Rynne

THE MONTH OF MAY:  Why do so many think they need to tell us that May is a month?  The Institute for the Linguistically Impaired officially calls these ninnies temporal retentives.  Of course, we call them ninnies only in the privacy of the Fowler Lounge, after a stressful week a couple of rounds.  Never in public.  Never.  It might insult the poor things.

Temporal retentives are the ones who tell us that a date is a date, with memos that say Date: May 9, 2008.  They are the politicos who pontificate about the opposing party's benighted policies during the decade of the nineties. 

And they can't say 2008.  It has to be the year 2008. 

Thanks for all the help.

Please support the Edwin Newman Clinic in its effort to find a cure for Temporal Retentive Syndrome (TRS).


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Lansing Middle School Drama

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You need Java enabled to view the crossword applet. If you do not have Java installed you can obtain it from java.com. If do have Java you may need to check your security settings to make sure that applets are enabled, especially if you are viewing the puzzle from your hard disk. In Windows XP you may be able to enable the applet by clicking on the yellow bar at the top of the window and selecting "Allow blocked content".

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SMART TALK
by Dr. Manda Rynne

A MOMENT IN TIME:  This phrase gets trotted out regularly on TV, usually with gravitas heavier than a dumpster full of Emmies.  It has also done service as a book title, school essay assignment, you name it.  Here at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, we stopped counting and documenting this crime against logic and language years ago.

In treatment sessions, we always ask our patients, "What else is a moment in?  Do moments exist in space?"  Saying a moment does the job completely, thank you.

At the Edwin Newman Clinic, we often diagnose these patients as temporal retentives.  Those with full-blown Temporal Retention Syndrome (TRS) also like to say earlier in time and introduced for the first time. 

An insidious Englishism that's often a part of TRS renders patients unable to say or write that an event will occur in two weeks.  For them, only in two weeks' time will do.

Please support the Edwin Newman Clinic.  We have so much work to do.

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