Archive: Opinions

Americans are in agreement that there are two sure things in life -- death and taxes.  Most of us will spend our adult lives trying to avoid both.   Although we may find ways to decrease the amount we owe in taxes through loopholes and deductions, no one can avoid death.   It is inevitable that one day each of us will die.

When that day comes is a mystery.  There seems little we can do to prepare ourselves for that day.  We feel helpless.  Most of us avoid talking about our own demise.  Rarely will we enter into a conversation where individuals are discussing their decline in health, ways to deal with care, and ultimately, death.  But that day will come no matter who we are. 

The title of today’s column begins to shed some light on one of my newest rolls, that of care provider.  Earlier this week, my 97 ½ year old Grandmother was admitted to Hospice. She has a very simple diagnosis called failure to thrive.  Her heart is weak, her kidneys are shutting down, and her legs cannot hold her up any longer.  In other words, old age has finally caught up with Grandma.
 
For most of her life, she has been healthy, self-reliant, fiercely independent, and since Grandpa’s death in 1980, lived by herself.  A few years ago, at age 95, my family noticed Grandma was beginning to slow down.  It seemed unthinkable that any of us would think of Grandma as slowing down, but she was, and continued to do so in such small, barely noticeable ways. 

Looking back, all of us now have formed opinions as to incidents in her life that have lead to declines in her health.  At the time however, we dismissed these signs as were blips on the radar screen.  True to form, Grandma bounced back each time.

I was with Grandma when she signed a host of forms including consent for care, Medicare Election of Benefits, and the Do Not Resuscitate (DNR).  With each signature, she apologized to the admission nurse that her handwriting was nearly illegible.  “I used to do calligraphy and make my own cards.”  She told the nurse. 

Grandma sleeps a lot.  When she awakes, she usually asks for some water or juice.  My wife bought her white grape juice the other day, and she really enjoys the taste.  We joke with her that we have spiked it.  She smiles and continues sipping until she empties the small cup.  She politely thanks us, and then dozes off. 

Life is so fragile and so delicate.  As I watched Grandma curl up like a little child with the sheet tucked under her chin, I smiled and felt a tear run down my cheek watching in wonder as Grandma prepares for her next chapter in life.  Stay tuned.  And that is to the point. 

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