- By Dan Veaner
- Around Town
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Since I began reporting for the Lansing Star last summer I have been preparing for the April Fools Day issue by making notes of puns unwittingly uttered by local officials. Sometimes they were uttered wittingly. As you can image, with one of the biggest ongoing stories being the proposed sewer district and the impact of the Town’s trunk line going through the Village of Lansing, perhaps it’s not surprising that most of the puns related to effluent.
Not to mention that in most of these meetings attorneys were present, and what is an attorney if not a sue-er?
10/19/2005: After a discussion in which it was revealed that a Drake Road water extension could cost $968 per homeowner over a 30 year period, the discussion wandered. Town Councilman Bud Shattuck, who lives on Drake Road asked Town Supervisor Steve Farkas, also a Drake Road resident, whether he had seen the big bucks in the field near their homes. Appropriate after learning about the big bucks the water main would cost!
10/26/2005: The Town sewer committee discussed how they could “digest information.” Let’s just leave this one there!
11/07/2005: In a Village public meeting to explain sewer alternatives Town Engineer David Herrick explained, “The Ithaca/Auburn Railroad Line route eliminates the need for a pump station.” That’s not all it eliminates!!!
12/05/2005: As the Village Representative to the Town Sewer Committee, Village Trustee Frank Moore has a lot to contend with. He sometimes deals in hypotheticals as he was when, during a discussion of the cost of the project he surmised; “It could be that the State would not give us full relief from the problem.”
12/05/2005: In a Village Trustee meeting engineer Dave Putnam was explaining that the chance of odors coming from a sewer was slim, but that “a temperature inversion could bring the smell down from the vent.” Trustee Larry Fresinski added, “And wind.” We were tempted to ask what he’d had for dinner, but refrained!
Later in the same meeting Trustee John O’Neill Said, “The comment about the sewer being neither fish nor fowl.” To which Mayor Don Hartill replied, “I think it’s always foul.”
01/05/06: In a Town Board meeting discussion of the proposed sewer district Town Supervisor Steve Farkas opined, “I hope it all works out in the end.” Any further commentary would test the limits of good taste.
01/23/2006: While discussing personnel in the school district kitchens Interim Business Administrator Larry Driscoll said, “A Cook/Manager doesn’t have time to deal with problems that pop up.” I guess that means burnt toast!
02/06/2006: In a discussion about the sewer project Village of Lansing Mayor Don Hartill said, “Warren Road could serve as a backup.” He was referring to a detour while the sewer is constructed, but it did bring an alarming image to mind!
Later in that same discussion Trustee Frank Moore noted, “It’s a shame to throw out that head…” That’s a term referring to lifting sewage to a higher elevation, not something you would think to throw out, especially if you had a sewer!
Then creating a record for the most puns in a single public meeting, the Mayor noted that a topic should be discussed in a private meeting, “instead of a public meeting where there are certain pressures.” This came right after a lengthy discussion of pressurized sewer trunk lines.
02/15/2006: Park Superintendent Steve Colt had just finished telling the Town Board about a Boy Scout who is going to build a kayak/canoe rack in Myers Park. Then he said, “I got a call from (High School Principal) Michelle Stone about some projects to be done by some kids in the same boat.” I hope they take it off the rack before they get in!
02/16/2006: At the Cancer Relay for Life kick-off event, Volunteer Coordinator Deb Mohlenhoss explained that people walk in the event even if it rains. "Not that we're happy about the fact that its raining, but it really didn't dampen the spirit of anyone in the relay."
03/01/2006: During a heated discussion about sewer odor control that was getting out of control, Town Engineer David Herrick said, “Let’s back up…”
03/20/2006: Village Trustee Lynn Leopold, referring to a forming storm water coalition, said, “Without this group we’re up a creek.”
Later in the meeting Trustee John O’Neill noted that if the Village keeps an old dump truck rather than selling it, they could sell it “down the road.” That seems like a good place to sell it. Then when Trustee Frank Moore asked if this is something the Village employees want to do, “or is it just an idle thought,” we figured that if they think the truck can still idle there must be life in it.
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