Archive: Around Town

The motto "encourage, enable, expect excellence" is written into the Groton Central School District vision statement and indicates a major focus of the District to encourage students towards personal excellence while simultaneously helping others. The two often do go hand-in-hand. As part of an ongoing effort to enable this focus, the District has been involved in providing training opportunities for staff and the community.

One of such offerings has been the Stand Up, Speak Out event held last month. Andrew Tocheny of the NYS State Police, Lyn Stack of The Advocacy Center, Jennifer Astles of TST BOCES and Nick Flanigan of Tompkins County Probation were presenters for this well-received community event. Some of the information shared that night about curbing harassment and bullying is also outlined in the handbook "Bullying and Cyberbullying K-12 Parent Guide" The following points and helpful tips were discussed.

Create a Network

Give your child positive feedback, and maintain a supportive atmosphere in the home. Allow your child access to other adults and children that they can trust and rely on. Good friends for your child create the best defense against bullying, while they are in the school environment. A larger network of positive relationships can be more effective than a smaller network.

Promote peace; teach your children behaviors that promote healthy conflict resolution. Allow your child to speak up at home and practice being assertive while being non-aggressive. Meanwhile, monitor your own behavior, are you promoting kindness and empathy at home? When children learn to empathize they develop the skills to be considerate of others.

Friend Your Kids Friends

Whether 'friending' someone on Facebook or in person, you help to create a safer experience for your child when you are involved in their network of friends. It is possible that not all the friendships that your child has you will agree with or feel confident about, but take the time to get to know all of your children's close friends.

Help your child be accountable for the character they portray online by establishing some ground rules about what they can share. Setting some expectations for your child's behavior will likely eliminate some sharing that could reflect negatively on them.

Participating in most social media usually involves the sharing of personal information. Help your child establish online privacy settings. Encourage them to be cautious with online passwords and create strong passwords. Caution your child about sharing contact information and photos online or through a text message. Once information has been shared it can be used in many ways and cannot be taken back. Shared pictures often not only share the image but also metadata. Metadata can include location and other detailed information.

Know the Warning Signs

Problems with bullying often increase in middle school as children gain more independence and also become less dependent on their parents. During this time, peer groups and social status become more important. A child who bullies is often perceived as popular or self-confident, and these children use bullying to combat insecurity; bullies can often use forms of aggression to gain power over others. Being a victim of bullying is not only difficult and stressful, but also causes the victim to turn inward, often taking the blame or feeling alone. Victims can easily become depressed and suffer silently. Signs of being a victim of bullying include loss of focus or motivation for normal activities such as class-work.

Cyber relationships are defined by spending exclusive time online with someone. Cyber relationships can present significant risks to children and can quickly turn time consuming and unhealthy. One of the warning signs that your child may be involved in an online relationship is a preoccupation with being online, especially one that is out of character for them or imposes on their responsibilities and other activities.

Help Report Bullying or Cyber bullying

Encourage your kids to stand up for the victim, bravely facing the criticism that may cause. Be bold with your child-let them know you will do what it takes to keep them safe!

Learn about reporting options, know how to report bullying to your child's school and criminal behavior through the state police cyber tip line. There are tech options that allow for parental and security features, consult a service provider for more options.

If your child is a victim of bullying, know that confronting the bully (or bully's parents) on your child's behalf is usually not a solution or the most effective way to prevent your child from being bullied again.

You Are Part of the Solution

As a parent, you can enable your child to be and feel safe. Talk about bullying and listen to their concerns, always encourage your child to confide in a trustworthy adult with any concerns they have, big or small. As your child grows up and gains some necessary independence, be sure to stay involved in their life, socially and academically. Attend school functions, help with or check homework, meet with their teachers and assess their academic performance. Spend one on one time with your child. …Time reading together is a great practice that reaps many benefits.

Keep track of your child's time spent online, either on computer, smartphone or other media device. Stay in control of media devices, be the mediator between your child's time spent online. Know your family's passwords to phone, computer, etc and act as a 'firewall' for your kids internet use. Grounding your child in the use of social media and texting may be a necessary punishment at times.

All children should feel empowered to combat the problem of bullying and have resources at their fingertips that will elevate not exacerbate the problem.

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