Archive: Around Town

Dear Margaret: I was widowed about a year ago, and my friend and daughter told me I should sign up on an online dating service, which I did.  Almost immediately I had a date with a man that seemed such a gentleman, was charming, and in the process of a divorce. We had a lovely first date, after which I began receiving a barrage of texts and phone calls from him. After the second date, he was sending texts with pictures showing what dresses I would look good in and suggesting that for the third date he help with a drywall project in my house. I’m getting a sick feeling in my stomach just thinking about him. I don’t want to hurt his feelings. What should I do?
Don’t want to Date

Don’t want to Date:  I could say so much about the controlling and presumptive behavior of not only the man you’ve been dating, but your friends and family as well. But let’s look at, what to me, is the elephant in the room. Your intuition (that gut feeling making you literally feel sick) is telling you to end this relationship that you know won’t go anywhere. I don’t know at what point we stopped paying attention to physical feelings that are there to guide us, but they are real and in your case it’s alerting you to possible danger. You know what to do, and seem to want confirmation from a source outside of yourself. Hurting is feelings is irrelevant. What is important in here is what you are feeling. End the relationship now, pay attention to what you feel in the future, and respond accordingly.

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