Archive: Around Town

Dear Margaret:  My 7 year old son came home from camp yesterday sad and upset because his "best friend" was mean to him and told him he didn't want to be friends with him anymore. It is the first time he has come home and said something like that. It upset me to the point of tears. My son was over it in 5 minutes and said, "We'll be friends again tomorrow," but it is so hard for me. My husband says they are just little kids and that's just what little kids do, and that I'm overreacting. Seeing his feelings hurt makes feel like dying inside. I told my son that if his friend is mean to him again that he just needs to say "I don't want to be friends with you either" and go play with someone else. My son said that he didn't want to say that because that was a "mean" thing to say. He has such a good heart. My husband says I can't shield him from emotional heartbreak or physical pain. It is a part of life. And I know that, but I don't know if I'll ever get past this overprotectiveness. How do I move forward and let my son feel pain, hurt, and rejection?   Overprotective
 
Dear Overprotective: Your young man sounds like a caring and sensitive boy. It also sounds like he is not fixating on the incident and, fortunately, feels he has an open line of communication with you. I suggest you think of ways to keep tabs on the situation, more for your sake than your son's at this point. Here is an article by Simple Simon and Company listing 25 questions you can ask your son when he gets home from school instead of, "Was Johnny mean to you at school again?"   My favorite is, "If an alien spaceship came to your class and beamed up someone who would you want them to take?"  If your son sees you are regularly upset about something that happened at school that might be a one-time occurrence, he might get the feeling he really should be more concerned than he is. Of course, if you ever get the feeling this is more than a one-time bullying incident, a visit to the teacher or principal would be in order.

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