- By Margaret Snow
- Around Town
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Dear Margaret: My father-in-law is the salt of the earth. He’s kind, generous and always there to lend a helping hand. Lately I’ve been noticing a change in his behavior in that when he swoops down to help us (without actually being asked), he seems annoyed with us and gives us the impression we don’t know what we’re doing and can’t make good decisions on our own. I don’t want to seem ungrateful as he really has been there for us in the past. How can I handle this situation with compassion without hurting his feelings?Compassion vs Mercilessness
Dear Compassion vs Mercilessness: It sounds like your father-in-law is taking typical conversations about everyday problems and seeing them as cries for help. When talking to him about challenges, simply state the problem and follow up immediately with how you’ve already determined to solve it. If this doesn’t work, simply refrain from telling him about your problems at all or at least until you’ve already resolved it in your own way and in your own time. This sounds like a case of miscommunication where your generally kind father-in-law is misinterpreting your ability to cope with run of the mill problems.
Click Here to write to Dear Margaret. Margaret Snow is a Life Coach in Ithaca, NY.
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