Archive: Around Town

Dear Margaret: My roommate is a chronic complainer. The whole world is against him and no one understands him. His reasoning is that everyone is jealous of him and this is a cross he has to bear. He comes home from work with daily with tales of his latest victimization. I can barely stand it. I have taken to making up tales of woe of my own that sound worse than his so he’ll feel like someone has it worse and shut up. It hasn’t worked, and he seems to be getting angry now when I use this tactic. I’m pretty much at my wits end with him. I’d like to enjoy my free time without this continual assault to my peace and quiet. How can I get my point across that I’m not interested in his daily tales of crucifixion?
Living with a Martyr
 
Dear Living with a Martyr: Your attempt to one-up him with even bigger tales of woe probably feels to him like you are upstaging him. It may have shocked him at first, but he’s not getting the admiration from you that he is looking for. You can try the direct approach and ask him what he plans on doing about the situation or why he lets people victimize him. If that doesn’t work, you should begin the process of moving out or, if feasible, ask him to leave. This doesn’t sound like a situation you are going to be able to resolve with this person. He’s putting out a cry for help you don’t have the time or inclination to deal with.

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