Archive: Around Town

Dear Margaret: My daughter is now 14 and up until now she has been a dream. She was responsible, needed little discipline, and was pure joy. She has been hanging out with a new group of girls at school, and I'm afraid they are a bad influence on her. I don't want to forbid her from seeing her friends as a punishment, but I'm beginning to be at a loss as to how to deal with this new behavior. She talks back, slams doors, and generally pushes boundaries. I know early teens can be a challenge, but this is beyond what I expected. How can I get the respect a parent deserves without going to extremes by limiting her social life?
Frustrated Mom of Teen
Dear Frustrated Mom of Teen:  While this new behavior is disconcerting to you, your daughter is at an age where she needs to find out who she is separate from you. This means experimenting with the structures that were previously imposed, and it is an important part of her development. While you are right to require respectful behavior, it is important to loosen the strings a bit so that she can develop as a healthy individual. Decide what your boundaries are keeping in mind she will be testing authority. I know every parent wants to think it's the influence of other children causing yours to 'misbehave,' but in this case all of her friends are most likely going through the same growth process. Unless you know for a fact she is engaging in dangerous activities, allow her some room to expand. Balance is key during this time.

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