- By Margaret Snow
- Around Town
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Dear Margaret: I recently had dinner with my wife’s family who live in a rural area. I believe they’ve always been rather secluded from anyone outside their own ethnicity and culture. During the course of the meal one family member made a racist remark which brought a few laughs from other members. I want to get along with her family, but keeping my mouth shut just doesn’t sit well with me. It feels like a violation of who I am to remain silent. Any ideas on how I can keep the peace with her family and at the same time retain my self-respect?Unhappy Peacekeeper
Dear Unhappy Peacekeeper: There’s no way to preserve your self-respect other than to tell them straight out you find remarks like that offensive. There is no need for a long discourse. Let them feel the discomfort, if, in fact, they would feel a sense of shame. If it turns into an issue, you and your wife will need to decide how she can attend family functions without you, should it come to that.
Click Here to write to Dear Margaret. Margaret Snow is a Life Coach in Ithaca, NY.
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