Archive: Around Town

Dear Margaret: I've been in a relationship with a woman for the last 15 years and for the most part we're quite happy together. However, my partner's work has started to become the central focus of her life. She works late many nights, and takes calls during off hours, including vacations. I understand this is part and parcel of her particular occupation, and I appreciate the substantial monetary benefits her work affords us. However, I'm left feeling like the third wheel in a relationship between my wife and her career. I don't even know how to broach this subject without appearing whiney and needy. How can I become more in focus in this relationship?
Feeling Unimportant

Dear Feeling Unimportant: There's no getting around the fact that you must discuss with your wife how you feel. Before you do, a self-check would be in order. Do you feel important regardless of how much attention you get from your marriage? If you go into the conversation having your self-esteem intact, you won't appear needy. Focus on strengthening your partnership with her and the benefits of uninterrupted time together. If possible leave the house for whatever length of time works for you both without any electronics. Uninterrupted time together will go a long way to towards fortifying your marriage. Unless someone's life or health requires her attention around the clock, it's important for her life and health to get some scheduled downtime.

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