Archive: Around Town

I've been dating a man for about a year now. We are both widowed with adult children. One of his daughters has warmly welcomed me, and the other goes out of her way to be openly rude and hurtful towards me. We both agree that marriage is not in our near future, but we very much enjoy each other's company under our current, exclusive arrangement. I don't know whether this daughter thinks I'm a gold digger, feels her father shouldn't be dating so soon, or has other issues I'm not aware of. We were all together for the first time last weekend, and her hostility towards me left me in tears. I don't know how to handle this. Both daughters live several miles away, so our gatherings will be infrequent. How can I handle this situation?
Shunned

Dear Shunned: Constantly attempting to guess why this family member has chosen to treat you disrespectfully will lead you down a rabbit hole. Making up stories (and then believing them) about why she acts out towards you puts you on an emotional roller coaster. If her father has noticed her behavior and has not offered an explanation, you might consider asking him, if your relationship feels comfortable enough to broach the subject. Otherwise, know that this is about her. It has nothing to do with you. As hard as this is to accept because it's so hurtful, it's not personal. Until she comes to terms with your relationship with her father, continue to be yourself. That is, don't go overboard to compensate. For now, treat both daughters equally in terms of kindness. I'm sorry her lack of maturity is causing you discomfort.

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