Archive: Around Town

I've been in a friendly relationship for a few years with a gentleman whom I trusted completely, until now. He's been my confidant and someone whom I could tell almost anything. He would always have an encouraging word and seemed very supportive. I now find that things I told him were not held in confidence, but seemingly broadcast to others in a way in which he made himself out to be the hero for giving me guidance and direction. I'm devastated and feel almost distraught from his betrayal. It's left me sad and angry. I want him to know the damage he does, but am wondering if it would even help. Perhaps I should keep my mouth shut. Should I tell him or not?
Betrayed

Dear Betrayed: It appears you may have found his Achilles heel. I'd suggest that he gets a sense of self-esteem and importance from helping you, and possibly others. He's not finding confidence within himself. I'd further assert his transgressions are not a reflection on how he feels about you, rather some lack in his own life. As hurtful as his betrayal feels, it wasn't about you. It's always tricky when approaching another individual with the intent to expose their shortcomings. If you feel you know him well enough to not get hit by blowback from discussing this with him, I would let him know what you found and how it made you feel. If you know him to be too proud to self-reflect on the damage he causes, I might take this as a lesson learned and certainly avoid discussing sensitive information with him. I'm sorry he broke the trust you had for him and the pain it caused.

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