- By Margaret Snow
- Around Town
Print 
Throughout my life I've experienced the feeling of being controlled by other people, including siblings, my parents, my partner, friends and employers. I feel like I'm putting an energy out there that encourages this behavior in others, and I don't know how to break free from it. A recent example is a decision to buy a new car. I know what I wanted, but I acquiesced to my partner and her preferences. I now own a car that is perfect – for her. How can I get others to stop their propensity for dominance over me?Tired of Subservience
Dear Tired of Subservience: In a sense, your willingness to let others choose for you is a sort of reverse power pattern. By not taking control (giving others the authority to display dominance over you) lets you off the hook and frees you from responsibility for 'failure'. For instance, if the car turns out to be a lemon, you needn't fear having made a bad choice. You may not have a sense of what your boundaries are, and I'd suggest you start there. Do you have any boundaries at all, and if so, what are they? Where do you draw the line in some area of your life? Once you insert some clear boundaries, practice sticking to them. And remember, 'No' is a complete sentence.
Click Here to write to Dear Margaret. Margaret Snow is a Life Coach in Ithaca, NY.
v14i21