- By Margaret Snow
- Around Town
Two weeks ago I had an unpleasant confrontation with the mother of one of my son's friends. We both said things that, at least, I regret. Mind you, what I said was the truth, I just regret expressing my opinion. Since our sons are in the same grade at school and want to play together, I'm having a difficult time in knowing how to approach this woman. I'm extremely uncomfortable when I see her, and she obviously has hard feelings towards me. We were never the best of friends, but at least we were cordial. I do stress over this situation. How can I make things better, or at least revert back to how they were?
Distraught Mom
Dear Distraught Mom: As the saying goes, the horse is already out of the barn. You may not be able to return to your prior relationship. If you decide to say anything to the other mother, be sure what you say is truthful, genuine and compassionate. If what you said was hurtful and for that you have regret, tell her. If what you said was true, she might be grappling with confronting that part of herself. She might find in you a scape goat if she's having trouble absorbing that information. And, most importantly, be clear on your own motives for saying what you said. That is, confront the part of you that wanted to verbalize whatever it was you expressed to her. Is she a reflection of something you find to be an issue in your own life? This is a difficult exercise, but so worthwhile.
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Distraught Mom
Dear Distraught Mom: As the saying goes, the horse is already out of the barn. You may not be able to return to your prior relationship. If you decide to say anything to the other mother, be sure what you say is truthful, genuine and compassionate. If what you said was hurtful and for that you have regret, tell her. If what you said was true, she might be grappling with confronting that part of herself. She might find in you a scape goat if she's having trouble absorbing that information. And, most importantly, be clear on your own motives for saying what you said. That is, confront the part of you that wanted to verbalize whatever it was you expressed to her. Is she a reflection of something you find to be an issue in your own life? This is a difficult exercise, but so worthwhile.
Click Here to write to Dear Margaret. Margaret Snow is a Life Coach in Ithaca, NY.
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