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dearmargaret While I appreciate my girlfriend's desire to maintain a healthy lifestyle, and generally agree to go along with her next new thing, I'm growing a bit weary of her ever changing idea of what healthy even means. One day it's no gluten, the next day it's a frenzy to buy and use all things coconut oil. One day she's all about a paleo diet, the next its fat free. Once she decides a certain food is bad, she throws out all of that food, which annoys me because it's like throwing away money on her each and every whim of what constitutes healthy. To be honest, I don't think her ever changing idea of what's good and bad is healthy in itself. This whole thing is getting on my last nerve. Going out for dinner has become a source of irritation for me, what with her asking for variations on the stated menu. We are starting to argue about this more often. How can we come to some kind of resolution to this sticky situation?
Healthy and Unhappy

Dear Healthy and Unhappy: It sounds like your girlfriend may be more interested in pioneering the next new health craze rather than intuiting or sensing into how each food actually makes her feel. You might encourage her to determine how foods affect her with respect to energy level, any allergy conditions, or mood, to name a few. There are as many opinions about what foods are healthful as there are experts, and your girlfriend is the expert of her own body. Other than offering that suggestion, it is her body. As long as she doesn't insist that you go along with her latest healthy idea, I'd suggest you let go of the idea that there is something wrong with her wanting to experiment. That is, as long as she doesn't actually have an eating disorder. I'd further suggest that this food issue might be a small lens into other areas of your lives together. While you may find comfort in stability and sameness, she may find satisfaction in novelty and change. Neither personality is wrong. In fact, they may be quite complementary. You offer her an anchor, and she offers you variety.

Click Here to write to Dear Margaret.  Margaret Snow is a Life Coach in Ithaca, NY.

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