Archive: Around Town

In a gathering I recently attended, the speaker insisted that the opposite of love is not hate, but fear. A lot of heads shook yes at this statement. I'm feeling like there are people I dislike, and do not love, but to say that I fear them confuses me. The people in this group consider themselves to be 'enlightened', whatever that means. I don't know if I'm just not enlightened, or I will get it someday, or if this groups just isn't for me. What are your thoughts?
Confused, Not Fearful

Dear Confused, Not Fearful: This is a great question. I too have heard that comment. I don't think you're confused. You are simply questioning a statement that doesn't feel right to you. It doesn't matter if most of the group seemed to agree. If in your experience that statement isn't true, then it isn't true. Have you ever considered the volumes upon volumes of prose and poetry written in which love is described? It usually involves metaphor, because to give one simple definition would ignore the vastness of personal experience surrounding this profound feeling. I suggest that love has no opposite. I would further say that the opposite of fear might be safety, not love. If you enjoy the group and can maintain your own beliefs without being made to feel you are in some way a lesser person, then stay. Be sure to question ideas that don't feel right. You will know it is time to leave if you are consistently rubbing up against beliefs that are not true to your nature.

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