Archive: Around Town

Dear Margaret: I'm recently engaged to a woman with two small, pre-school children. I feel close to these boys and think they feel the same about me. The problem comes when it's time to discipline them. Neither of us believe in aggressive, physical discipline, just to take that off the table. However, if I even raise my voice when they are misbehaving it causes a rift between my fiancé and me. I think this is something that can get pretty tricky as our relationship and marriage progresses, but I don't know how to approach it without causing a heated argument.
Caught in the Middle

Dear Caught in the Middle: I understand your willingness and desire to step in and be fully part of the family. I don't know the particulars about the children's biological father, but I'd suggest there might be good reason for you to tread carefully. Being in a relationship where there are children is almost always tricky. I would fully take my cue from your fiancée, and I would also suggest that you talk to a third party counselor to help you through times that could be trying. How the children feel is most important. It really isn't about your feelings. Not even a little bit. Understanding this will go a long way to giving you an intuitive edge to making these relationships work. That, and love and compassion. My best to you for a successful marriage and family life.

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