Dear IMO,

My colleague at work has a very serious drinking problem.  Although he never drinks on the job, he indulges on weekends.  I have watched him during these binges, and I cannot believe he is one in the same person.  At work, he is polite, considerate and appropriately funny.  However, after a few drinks, he acts quite hostile and often says terrible things to those around him. I have tried to approach him to discuss his drinking problem during work hours, but I cannot find the right moment to address this very serious issue.

I have spoken with his wife, and she is ready to leave him.  In addition, some of his friends have avoided being in the same place with him where alcohol is served.  I know it is affecting his marriage, his friends, and soon it might destroy him.  What am I supposed to do?  Do you have any advice? 

Peter

Dear Peter,

Alcoholism is very serious matter. Your colleague, and I assume, your friend, is heading for some real trouble. He is alienating his wife, his friends, and as you have said, he’s headed for destruction.   I advise you to find some time to sit with him and discuss his drinking problem.  Do not address this at work.  Go for a drive, get an ice cream cone, or walk along a nature trail, and tell him what you have seen.  Talk about the concern you have for him, his marriage, and his future.  He might be defensive at first, or may even dismiss your comments.   Be patient, but be persistent.  Ask him if he wants help, and then offer to take him to counseling, therapy, or to a substance abuse center.  Do not let it continue.  You have an opportunity to make a difference in this man’s life.  You’ll be glad you did.

 If you want advice please email your question to IMO at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . 

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