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Lansing's Advice Column

Dear IMO,

My mother recently had an accident with her car. She was backing out of her driveway and hit the side of her house with the rear bumper of the car. In a panic, she shifted into drive and proceeded to run through the closed garage door continuing until she pushed through the back of the garage into the neighbor’s yard. No one was hurt, not even my mother. By the way, my mother is 92 and fiercely independent.


After the incident, I sat down with my mom and told her how lucky she was that neither she nor anyone else was injured. She shrugged her shoulder and replied, “Well, I guess you think I should give up my driver’s license?” I replied that I thought it would be best. She did not agree, and insists she is quite capable of retaking the driver’s test and getting back behind the wheel. I firmly told her she was no longer capable of handling a car, and she needed to think about taking the “Senior Bus” provided by the county. She replied that she would think about it. I’m wondering if I did the right thing.

Please help,

Stosh


Dear Stosh,

92 and still driving, yikes! You need to tell your mother that no one should be driving when they are 92. I’m 41 and wonder why I still drive. It is a wonder that she has not been in an accident before this incident. I believe there might have been a higher power guiding her along the roads for some years.

But I digress. She is indeed very lucky that no one was hurt. If she had run into a stopped school bus or into a group of pedestrians, the consequences would have been terrible. You had every right to advise your mother to turn in her license and take advantage of the transportation provided by the county government.

Although no one likes to admit they are unable to perform certain activities and thereby lose their independence, all of us need to undergo a reality check. Seniors have a lot of options these days. I think you and Mom should sit down and look what is available. Meanwhile, let her decide what day of the week you are going to play chauffer and cheerfully take her on her errands. She’ll maintain her independence, and you’ll have peace of mind knowing that your mother is in the passenger seat.


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