Archive: Around Town

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 Lansing's Advice Column


Dear IMO,

I recently entered into a debate with a co-worker about New Year’s resolutions. I told him that they were silly, a waste of time, and a sign of weakness in a person’s character. Millions of people declare their intentions to lose weight, quit smoking, play a musical instrument, write a book, and other resolutions too incredulous to mention. By the second week of January, those poor fools find themselves eating more, smoking more, finding places to hide their music lesson book, and still working on paragraph one of their great novel. They would be better off not making any such resolutions and leave the rest of us in peace.

As I finished my last sentence, he glared at me and responded with some uncharitable words that described me as Scrooge’s sister. He also used the words, “heartless, callous, and miserable old wretch.” His anger and outrage surprised me.

After some careful review of the conversation, I walked to his desk and apologized for my outburst. He told me to get lost since one of his New Year’s resolutions was to avoid negative people. Do you think I was wrong in expressing my opinion about the silliness of resolutions?

Thanks,

Suzanne

Dear Suzanne,

Your approach to the topic of New Year’s resolutions reminded me of the schoolyard bully approach. The bully grabs an unsuspecting runt by the back of the neck, spins him around, and asks a question. Before the poor kid can respond, “POW”, the bully lands a heavy punch to the stomach leaving the innocent victim on the ground gasping for air.

There are many silly things in life, but New Year’s resolutions are not one of them. These resolutions are an opportunity for people to express hope, seek out new ways of learning and expressing themselves, and most importantly, allow their goals and dreams to take on real meaning.

So what if people fail! What good is life if you can’t dream about being someone you would like to be? At 5’6” and 180 lbs, I’m never going to look like the models in the Brooks Brother’s Catalogue, but I can make a resolution to lose a few and actually fit in the suit.

Listen, Suzanne, we all fall short, but that doesn’t mean God appointed people like you to throw dirt in people’s faces before they get a chance to fall flat on their own. Besides, many of those “fools” do lose weight, quit smoking, learn the piano, and write a book. Next time you approach a topic, try to be a bit more diplomatic. Meanwhile, write a note to your co-worker telling him of your New Year’s resolution, “I resolve to be less negative and more open to others.”

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