Archive: Around Town

• “Are youse guys ready to order?” These were the first words my friends and I heard after we were seated at our table at a recent lunch. Perhaps I’m being overly demanding but I actually prefer to be greeted by my server before we get down to business.   A simple “hello” will suffice. When our waiter combined the absence of a greeting with a grammatically incorrect inquiry, you can imagine that no one at the table, including me, was happy.  You had to be there to here the discontent expressed by the females to the inclusive term “guys”.  One actually chastised the waiter, “I don’t know who you’re talking to when you call us guys but you’re certainly not talking to me!”  Reasonable alternatives might be,“Good Afternoon, how are you all doing?” or “How are you folks doing today?” or “Welcome to Deb’s Diner.” You can probably think of a lot more.

• Some of my friends don’t like to have their dishes placed before them with servers who expose bare arms.  One gentleman, who used to have his own establishment, prefers freshly ironed sleeves at wrist length but that’s a bit much for me.  I do believe the informality of the server’s attire can vary with the atmosphere and theme of the restaurant.
• Bare arms pale when you confront a server’s heavily tattooed arm. I’m all for self- expression, for example I don’t mind facial hair if the server is well groomed. I understand that tattoos and piercings are often used to make a personal statement.  However when an extended arm places my entrée in front of me, if that arm is heavily tattooed, it’s unwelcome and detracts from my overall experience. For me, tattoo ink and food don’t mix.  I feel the same way when a server announces the specials wearing a tongue or nose ring or most other facial rings.
• Speaking of specials: I really don’t like it when my server describes them without mentioning the price. Sometimes, the only thing “special” is the “special” price which is higher than most, if not all, of the ordinary menu items. I appreciate, no I insist on, the opportunity to evaluate all the descriptions and prices of menu items, along with the specials, before making a considered decision.  I’m sympathetic to college students on a date who feel uncomfortable asking the price.  And at most business dinners, the host and the guest may consider it awkward to ask. Some of my friends are too intimidated to ask the price – I think they’re concerned that they’ll be perceived as being cheap. When the bill arrives and I have to summon the server to inquire about the unexpectedly high priced special, I often get a song and dance. For example, “Well sir, the duck had to be imported from West Guinea on a special refrigerated aircraft and she was one of the last females of a nearly extinct species.” Or “That particular steak came from a cow raised in Kobe Japan. The cow was over 15-years-old and had been fed on a rare blend of organic grasses all of her life.”  I’d be comfortable hearing all this before I order but not as a justification after the bill arrives.
• I can’t imagine everyone in a restaurant all enjoying the same radio station at the same time.  And I abhor listening to commercials while I’m dining. Imagine eating an entrée that costs $25while listening to someone yelling he’s the “used car king” as recently happened to me.  If a restaurant has a sound system installed, let the management eschew the radio and play CD’s appropriate to the ambience of the restaurant.  I particularly like ethnic music in an ethnic restaurant.  Immerse me in the total experience please, and don’t put the volume up so high that it interferes with our conversation.
• Hey youse guys, how about removing your baseball caps when you sit down with your lady friends?  I think it would show them more respect. Am I asking too much to suggest that you remove your headgear when you enter the restaurant – even if you’re with your male buddies?
• If you absolutely have to talk on a cell phone during a meal, I think you should excuse yourself from the table however my preference is that you turn off the phone when you sit down to eat. Unless there’s the possibility of an impending emergency, give 100 % of your attention to the people you’ve chosen to dine with.

These are not the only things that concern me in a restaurant but I think I should end here before my blood pressure rises beyond a safe level.

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