Archive: Arts & Entertainment

SMART TALK SMART TALK

by Dr. Thorn Schwa

COLLABORATIVELY: At the Center for English as a First Language, we work hard to cure our patients of polysyllabificationitis, the aptly named disorder that has them using many syllables when fewer will do the job. Somewhere in their formative years, a teacher let them think that using fancy sounding words made them sound smarter. That the reverse is true illustrates the meaning of fatuous.

Dr. Wade Bombast, a professor at Bedspring Tech down the road in Los Libidos, recently wrote to the Underbelly Prerecorder about the town’s claim that his college wasn’t contributing enough to the civic welfare of Los Libidos. His letter actually included the sentence, “Together, we work collaboratively on shared challenges and opportunities with our off-campus stakeholders.”

If only Dr. Bombast would check himself into the Center. We could help him while raising the level of public discourse.

To collaborate means to work together. Dr. Bombast would have helped himself by just saying, “Together, we work,” or “We collaborate.” To use either “together” or “collaboratively” is redundant. “Collaboratively” compounds the crime by being pure froth used for effect, and it fools only the fools. Then he uses “shared” just two words later, making his redundancy a triple play.

If Dr. Bombast had used clear, concise, and simple language, his message would have been readable by all instead of merely off-putting.

All that redundancy poisons the rest of the sentence, no matter how clear. His use of “challenges and opportunities,” while reasonable enough, picks up the stink of academese by association. You almost feel as if you’re reading an academic quarterly.

 

“Stakeholders” is a favorite word, one of the darlings of academic officialdom. He probably went on to use “data sets” and “methodology,” too, but my gag reflex prevented further reading.

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