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SMART TALKSMART TALK SMART TALK
By  Sotto Voce, R.N.

POLYSYLLABIFICATIONITIS: The Institute for the Linguistically Impaired identified this disorder the day we opened in 1957. We call it PS Syndrome, or PSS.

Symptoms include saying interpretative instead of interpretive, notate instead of note, and preventative instead of preventive. Without treatment, patients regress to Buckley Syndrome, saying, for example, lacerations and contusions instead of cuts and bruises.

We try to work fast on these patients, lest they begin speaking full-blown officialese. Once they reach this sad state, we have to isolate them with government functionaries in an intensive retreat we call English as a First Language. The EFL program is very expensive.

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