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Smart TalkSmart Talk SMART TALK
By Garrel S. Utter, R.N.

SYSTEMS: The Institute for the Linguistically Impaired hired Clara Dix and me as nurses in the William Safire Center. Our specialty is Fad Word Syndrome.

System may be one of our longest-running fad words. For instance, a pen isn’t a pen any more. It’s a writing system. A razor is a shaving system. The military has weapons systems, but for them, being clear is more threatening than a budget cut.

Nurse Saber S. Poder stopped in downtown Underbelly and bought a pair of deer whistles for her car in Johnson’s Five & Dime. She brought them to work to show us the package. It seems that lowly deer whistles have earned the lofty label, Animal Saver System.

“At this rate,” fumed Poder, “eyeglasses will be sold as vision systems, and bookmarks as reference point retention systems. How retentive can they get?”

Just you wait, we replied. Our jobs are all too secure.

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