- By Jim Evans
- Entertainment
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Smart Talk SMART TALK By Dr. Molto Breve
YOU’VE GOT MAIL: No one on the staff of the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired has an AOL account. In fact, our founder, grammarian and usage expert James Evans, prohibited AOL accounts on Institute computers after several monitors were smashed by angry language therapists.
Just imagine working all day to cure patients of using redundancies like very unique, prerecorded, hot water heater, and plan ahead. Then you sit at your desk to check email, and that cheery voice declares, “You’ve got mail!” I wonder why we didn’t lose more monitors than those few.
The voice, of course, should say, “You have mail!” “Have” and “get” aren’t synonyms, but their meanings are related closely enough that saying you have got mail is the linguistic equivalent of playing a C and a C-sharp together. Closely enough to give a therapist violent inspiration.
The British love to say have got, but they’re the same folks who refer to things which are related, instead of things that are. They’d love AOL.
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