- By Jim Evans
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Smart TalkSMART TALK By Clara Dix, N.P.
LACERATIONS AND CONTUSIONS: I know I'll offend those with a vested interest in self-importance, but doggone it, say cuts and bruises! That's all you mean.
Using inflated synonyms is a special, pretentious form of linguistic impairment called William F. Buckley Syndrome. We considered naming it W.C. Fields Syndrome, because he was known to report a fight in the street as an altercation in the thoroughfare. However, he did that for comic effect, and we find nothing funny in obfuscation. At the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, we treat sufferers of this syndrome at the Alfred Kahn Clinic.
We have a heck of a time, though. Many of our patients can't shake the illusion that they sound smarter when they add syllables and drift back to government agencies or writing for scholarly journals.
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