- By Jim Evans
- Entertainment
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Smart TalkSMART TALK by Dr. Viva Palaver
NEAR MISS: The only near miss we've heard of at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired is Mrs. Kiehlyu. Née Sheila Mentz, she married Imo Kiehlyu in a misguided effort to shed an embarrassing name. She must also have been blinded by love. What a mistake.
After only a month of marriage, she could no longer stand the ridicule and divorced Imo. Sheila has lived in seclusion for 43 years, a near miss because many have no idea she ever married.
A near miss of, say, two airplanes would be even more tragic, because both planes would probably crash. A near hit or near collision would probably frighten everyone but have a happy ending. A complete miss is redundant but still fortunate, at least when aircraft are involved.
The same news media that made poor Sheila a national laughing stock seem not to know that a near miss is a hit almost averted. They need to learn the logical term near collision.
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