- By Jim Evans
- Entertainment
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Smart TalkSMART TALK by Dr. Viva Palaver
ABSOLUTE GUARANTEE: As staff psychologist at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, I keep noticing proof of the truism that we criticize most the faults in others that deep down, we most despise in ourselves. And that in swearing, we most like to denigrate that which is most sacred to ourselves. Otherwise, it wouldn't shock.
In America, advertising almost amounts to a national religion - almost, thanks to the official religion here in Texas, and maybe the whole USA, football. So my attack on the ad biz, as they like to call it, probably betrays my deep-seated shame of my profession's grandiose labels for minor anxieties and its pretense to be an exact science.
But advertising's redundancy, absolute guarantee, invites both a psychologist's attention and a linguistic therapist's attack. First, its redundancy undermines its meaning. It sounds like Honest Al Johnson, here in Underbelly, Texas: "No kidding. Honest. It's a great car. Really." Ironclad guarantee has the same effect of protesting too much and making the advertiser look sleazy.
Second, absolute guarantee, being a redundancy, is anathema here at the institute. My therapist colleagues have no more love for redundancies than they do for fire ants.
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