- By Jim Evans
- Entertainment
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Smart TalkSMART TALK by Dr. Viva Palaver
AMERICA STARTS HERE: Dr. Parley Speake told me this story one evening in the Fowler Lounge, where I usually find myself very busy, being the staff psychologist at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired. The evening had just begun, so Parley's story is probably true.
Dr. Speake was on a speaking tour - we intended no humor in choosing him to represent the institute - and was working his way up the East Coast from here in Texas. As he entered Pennsylvania, he claims he saw a sign saying, America Starts Here.
"I had no idea we weren't real Americans," he laughed. "Maybe that's why this President shows no remorse for the damage he's done."
Parley enjoys collecting ambiguous and nonsensical slogans, so he was just getting warmed up. He went on to recall an old Volkswagen ad campaign that used the word farfignügen, saying that he thinks it means the slippery feeling of oil inside your lederhosen.
But he cracked himself up most by telling me about the sign he saw in a medical clinic, saying, "The human body, with care, will last a lifetime."
Patience starts here, I thought, as I ordered another schooner of sarsaparilla.
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