- By Jim Evans
- Entertainment
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SMART TALK by Dr. Weiss N. Heimer
I COULD CARE LESS: "Oh, not me. I really don't care at all"
I enjoy saying that to prospective patients at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired. I use it as a diagnostic tool. If the patient is confused by my reply, he or she is showing a symptom of cerebroporosis.
The institute checking in at the surgical unit of the William Safire Center. Ask for a Logic Systems Implant (LSI).
After the LSI procedure, the patient will say, "I couldn't care less." You could care less, you're obviously not down to zero on the caring scale, so you care. At least a little.
Try it; it's fun: The next time you hear someone whose brain has a faulty connection to his or her mouth say, "I could care less," reply, "Not me. I actually don't care," and watch them.
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