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ImageSMART TALK
by Dr. Sotto Voce

ELECTED BY THE VOTERS:  During political campaigns, staff morale temporarily plummets at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired.  We hear so much impaired speech from candidates and their supporters that we wonder why we fight the good fight.

But then, someone like Dr. Weiss N. Heimer or Dr. Ced Riley reminds us of how dopey and funny they sound, and we start to feel entertained.  We sit in the Fowler Lounge and keep score, howling in derision, and advocate voting for the candidates most fluent in English.  A solid, conservative criterion acceptable here in Texas.

Not only does a political movement label themselves with a pornographic term - and I'll bet most of them don't drink tea - but slightly brighter lights get very officious with such redundancies as present incumbent and hostile antagonist.  They promise to make it their official business to conduct a thorough investigation, but they most want to get elected by the voters.  As if anyone else were being counted.

We once heard a little old lady claim, "I never vote.  It only encourages them."

We vote anyway, as we hope you do, as well.

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