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ImageSMART TALK
by Dr. Saber S. Poder



FIRSTLY: At the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, we decided to isolate this disorder as part of the adverb-compulsive strain of William F. Buckley Syndrome. 

Sufferers say firstly, secondly, and so on to lastly instead of the grammatical and simpler first, second, and last.  Perhaps they were sleeping all those times teachers and books told them that generally, words ending in  -ly are called adverbs because they add to verbs, as in think carefully.

Another symptom they often present with is saying hopefully instead of I hope, and more importantly instead of more important. Instead of feeling bad, they feel badly, which really means that their nerves don't work very well.

The quintessence of fatuousness, their bad grammar makes these poor people look foolish, while they think they sound ever so intellectual.

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