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ImageSMART TALK
by Dr. Molto Breve



I GO; SHE GOES: At the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, speakers who say goes instead of says are diagnosed as having cerebroporosis and given the same treatment as patients who say like at least once per sentence.

Regarding go, our staff psychologist, Viva Palaver, tells us that misuse of go and like may indicate retarded development.  She says may never have outgrown the baby-talk way of saying, "Doggy goes bow-wow!"  She also notes the contemporaneous trend in grown men dressing like toddlers, in ball caps, tee-shirts, oversize shorts, and sneakers.  Dr. Palaver may be on to something.

Regardless of her theory, however, we still treat this disorder as cerebroporosis, and our dedicated unit in the William Safire Center has been very busy.

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