Archive: Arts & Entertainment

SMART TALK

by Dr. Parley Speake




UHLLUSION: Continuing my series on speech habits that give Americans unique alien accents, we come to the apparent inability to pronounce a short I. At the Center for English as a First Language, we want to stop the trend before it sounds like utt. We already hear worshup and Davud, but today, we're concentrating on the initial I or E.

In the Center's Fowler Lounge, a TV is always on (just one, thank goodness), and we constantly hear uhventually and uhvent. Politicians constantly angle for uhmmunity from prosecution, and advertise their laziness by not caring enough to say they expect immunity eventually. Needless to say, this disturbs our relaxation.

We may shout and throw pretzels at the screen because of this, but sometimes lazy pronunciation shows more than lack of pride in this language. Uhllusion could be slob speech for illusion or allusion, and the difference in meaning is important.

Isn't it odd that many of the angry and fearful who hate government meddling demand that this same government mandate English only in our country, yet don't even speak the language as if they loved it?

 

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