Archive: Opinions

Every week I try to come up with some interesting take on the usual things that rile us: rising taxes, for instance.  Or government interference.  But I have to admit I am not in a frame of mind to rail against anything this week, and honestly the only thing on my mind right now is Fish On Wheels.  A team of developers from Studio diip in the Netherlands, came up with this device for the fun of it in February.  It became so popular on YouTube that it's now in the midst of a Kickstarter campaign to raise funds to produce it commercially.

"Have you ever had the possibility to let your fish drive around on his own?" asks the team that developed the device from simple, readily available parts.  "It’s the most awesome aquarium you can buy for your pet fish! It uses advanced technology to enable our aquatic friends to roam the land (except when staircases are involved)."

What is it, really?  It's a goldfish tank that the fish drives around the room.  A computer uses a web cam mounted above the tank that senses the direction the fish is swimming in, and the tank drives in that direction.  The developers say the tank has subtle and fluid movement so the fish won't stress out, and it can contain gravel and small plants like a regular aquarium.

Our own cars are becoming more and more reliant on computers and technology even when there is a driver.  I know someone who went back to the dealership four times to learn how to program the in-dash panel just to play the classical radio station she likes.  On the one hand we are being constantly admonished not to text while driving, while at the same time more and more distracting technology is being factory installed.

I was thrilled to learn that a version of the operating system that powers iPhones is being released for dash panels in cars, because, let's face it, being able to tell your car to play your favorite pop star, or send a text or email to your pal, or play phone messages is cool.  Especially if the voice recognition actually works.  And synchronizing your car to your computer and your phone has got to be handy!  Then again, you may remember I tried interviewing Siri a few months ago and it didn't go very well, so I am not confident about this stuff in cars yet.  I don't want to tell my car to make a dinner reservation and find myself driving to the Seneca reservation by mistake.

Technology is already taking over the roads from humans.  Case in point: Google driverless cars.  I feel more confident about Fish on Wheels than I do about Google's driverless cars because, well, at least someone is driving.

Driverless cars is actually a thing.  Two years ago Nevada passed a law permitting them on the streets,and the first one was licensed in March of 2012.  Florida and California have since passed laws allowing driverless cars for testing purposes.  So driverless cars are already a thing.

I suppose we'll be seeing a lot more of them.  On ther plus side, wouldn't it be great if you didn't have to calculate a tip on your cab fare because there is no cabbie?  But doesn't riding in the back seat of a car with no driver give you the creeps?  At least someone is driving Fish On Wheels.

I have read a concern that fish have such a short memory that they wouldn't be phased by a moving fish tank.  Even if they were upset by the tank moving they'd forget they were upset three seconds later.  But I also read a report on an experiment that proved their memories can last at least five months.  That may be useful when they come up with a GPS for Fish On Wheels so the fish can get to its destination without getting lost. 

Then again, what's it going to do when it gets there?  It's not like it can park the tank and go into a restaurant.  And even if it did, it would face the danger of becoming the main course.  It puts a whole new slant on Meals On Wheels, doesn't it?

Another danger would be getting stopped by a tooper for driving while tanked.  Troopers would just be fishing for excuses to stop these things...  And there would be protest groups marching to insure fish accessible ramps in every public building.

Some people are already arguing that Fish On Wheels will bring equality to fish because other pets already get to roam around your house at will while fish are incarcerated in static tanks.  Next thing you know they'll be putting a robot snout on the tank so your fish can learn to play fetch.




The real value here is the 'this is just plain delightful, pointless fun' aspect of Fish On Wheels.  Even the name is silly.  Sometimes it's a relief to forget about our woes and just think about something silly for a while.

But then the government steps in and creates new woes.  How long will it be before the government realizes Fish On Wheels could be a cash cow?  Fish will be required to pay for a driver's license and for license plates on their tanks.

Who is going to pay?  The fish?  Right, maybe after it stops complaining about what a lousy driver's license picture the DMV took!

You see?  I did find a way to rail against increasing taxes and government interference after all.

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