Archive: Opinions

One of the downsides of the Internet is the way it has so shamelessly encouraged narcissism.  Nobody seems to be able to restrain themselves from posting the minute details of their lives, random thoughts and pictures of themselves, pictures of their cats, pictures of themselves with their cats... they just lay it out there as if it were the news of the century.

Smart phones come with two cameras, one facing out, and one facing in.  The in-facing camera was probably intended to encourage video chatting, but it inevitably led to the selfie.  I cringed when I typed that word.  It sounds frivolous, and the idea that one of the most popular uses of an expensive pocket computer (smart phone) is taking selfies shows us to be self-indulgent.

Slfies are so popular that you can get accessories for them.  A number of companies sell little telescoping arms so you can hold the phone further away to get more of you in your selfie.  They are even coming out with a wearable drone that will launch off your wrist and follow you around taking a video of your special moments.  (You don't believe me?  Check out the Nixie.)

So is it really surprising that an enterprising company has come out with Selfie Toasters?  Yup, Vermont Novelty Toaster Corporation is marketing a toaster that can burn your face into pieces of toast.  This is the same company that brought us the Jesus Toaster, because everyone should have an image of Jesus burned onto their bread.  They also have Mary toasters, toasters that will burn a three line message onto your toast, and one that burns the peace symbol.  For only $69 you can have your own Selfie Toaster.  Wouldn't you love to immortalize yourself on a piece of bread?  It lends new meaning to the phrase, "I'm toast!" 


A 2012 study found that using smart phones as, well... phones was only the fifth most popular use of the devices.  It found that on average smart phone owners spent 24 minutes and 49 seconds using their phones to access the internet, 17 minutes and 29 seconds reading and posting on social media, 15 minutes and 38 seconds playing music, 14 minutes and 26 seconds playing games, and 12 minutes and 6 seconds making phone calls.

So posting those selfies and chatting about them on social media came in second.  Pretty popular.  And now you can do it on toast.

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