Archive: Opinions

Stephen King didn't do clowns a favor when he wrote 'It' in 1986.  Prior to that clowns were silly, and while probably not hysterically funny, they were a pleasant diversion mostly relegated to circuses, birthday parties and television programs like Howdy Doody and the Bozo Show.  They lived in the domain of physical humor, and who can blame them?  In the comedy world falling down never gets old.

But King made it creepy with his killer clown in 'It', and creepy killer clowns really permeated the collective psyche when the TV miniseries came out starring Tim Curry as Pennywise the Dancing -- read 'Killer' -- Clown.  That the costumer made him look like Bozo, Clarabelle, or Ronald MacDonald, three of the culture's most recognizable clowns, made clowns all the scarier.  What had those clowns been hiding all those years?  What had they been doing while crammed in that circus car?  King likes to write nightmares, and that is certainly what we all had when he showed us such a dark side of clowns.  And now the killer clown fantasy has become a real-life nightmare, first in the United States, and now across the globe.

It started in South Carolina with reports of clowns trying to lure children into the woods, then quickly spread across the country as more creepy clown sightings seemed to be reported every day.   USA Today reported Wednesday that British police are investigating countless killer clown sightings, including one that left a man permanently disabled when he grabbed a clown/attacker's knife blade with his hand.  57 clown sightings were reported in a four day period in Kent alone.  Reportedly the Russian embassy warned its citizens to beware of British clowns.  Now there have been sightings in Canada and Australia as well.

I never really got clowns.  It may have been the makeup -- I really hate makeup and can't imagine putting it on myself on purpose.  Or it may have just been that most clowns aren't as funny as they try to be.  I remember thinking that their main purpose at the circus was to fill time while they changed the props for the real acts like the elephants or the acrobats.  But I never disliked clowns.  I remember it was fun going on the Bozo Show with my cub scout troop, and I fondly remember a scene, in a film my grandfather made of the Ringling Brother's Circus, in a backstage tent showing the clowns putting on their makeup.  They were working stiffs, relatable, doing a job.  And their job was to make people happy.

I know it has become fashionable for bank robbers to wear rubber Richard Nixon masks.  But why don't they just stick to black balaclavas and keep it simple?  Those rubber masks have to be hot, and sweat running into your eyes during a bank robbery surely isn't worth the fashion statement.  A nice basic black ski mask is elegant and slimming -- just the thing for a hip robber or an attacker.  While many people don't mind ruining Nixon for the masses, it seems unduly mean, especially after he had to resign the presidency.  Wasn't that humiliating enough?  And ruining clowns for kids and grownups is especially cruel.  And unnecessary.  Mean spirited.

Lansing's own clown, Crossroad, is funny and wonderful.  He has donated spent countless hours clowning for good causes like Camp Good Days and just about any local cause that needs a clown.  There are lots of clowns who do what Crossroad does, or at least who are willing to be hired to do what he does.  The schmucks who dress up as clowns to attack or rob people are making it hard for real clowns to do these good deeds.  Because you don't want a bunch of youthful cancer sufferers to be scared out of their minds by the guy making their balloon animals,

The demand for clowns at malls, hospitals and party venues is sure to suffer.  This is not just some vague worry.  It's already a real thing.  MacDonald's has reportedly withdrawn Ronald MacDonald from all public appearances for now.

Spammers ruin email with oceans of unsolicited and scammy mail that have spawned a whole industry of spam filtering, resulting in people losing plenty of legitimate mail.  Crackers ruin computing with malware.  Politicians have destroyed democracy.  And now thugs who like to assault people are ruining clowns.  Where will it end?

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