- By Dan Veaner
- Opinions
Print 
Kirk Shreve died last weekend, and those words haunted me from my interview with him four months ago. I couldn't get them out of my head. As I stood meeting his family and viewing his body in the same room in the Lansing Funeral Home where we had spoken, I felt Kirk was there guiding the proceedings. This was a man who really knew how to live, and most uniquely, he knew how to die. I had interviewed Kirk Shreve for a business profile about Lansing Funeral Home. I usually record my interviews, and I decided to listen to the sound file on Tuesday, the day before his funeral. The irony that the funeral director was the one who had passed away made his words resonate even more strongly than they had when I spoke with him in May. At that time I thought he was inspirational, in large part because he wasn't trying to be. He was just being himself, not putting it on.
Listening to him again confirmed it. Here is a man who worked hard to realize his dream of owning a funeral home that he had cherished since he settled on the idea at the age of 13. He spent 26 years with a well loved companion whom he liked and respected. He gave back to his community in more ways than it is possible to know, because he didn't ask for recognition for doing it. He was a Rotarian and a Lansing Lion, and contributed to many causes he strongly believed in. He cherished his parents and all of his family, loved the Lansing community, his church, he had a great sense of humor, was very clear about what was the right way to behave.
Even in death he was considerate. His family found a file of instructions, poems, bible verses and notes on how his own funeral should be. He even wrote most of his obituary so that it would be there and ready, and his family wouldn't have to scramble to produce a eulogy when confronted with their loss. In a very real way he was guiding the proceedings!
He treated every client with the same care."My philosophy to serve each family based on their needs is key," he told me. "I'm not a salesman, or a corporation. It's been my passion since I was a kid and I take it very very seriously. Because when someone passes away it is serious. I pour myself emotionally as well as professionally into each family I serve, and pay very close attention to what their needs are."
I had talked with him casually about what to do when my own time comes, and had become attached to the idea that he would handle it. Now I feel adrift as I imagine the Lansing community must without him here. I felt we were becoming friends and looked forward to knowing him better.
Kirk was an enthusiastic supporter of the Lansing Star, and our first advertiser. Karen and I approached him to talk about our idea of starting a new local newspaper to get his sense of what we were doing right, what adjustments we should think about making, and how to handle obituaries. We weren't actually in business yet and were only seeking advice. When I showed him a mockup of the front page he pointed to the banner ad and said, "I want that ad for a year. What do I have to do to get it?"
But the greatest gift Kirk Shreve gave Lansing was his example. He made me think about what is important in life. He knew what that was, and he lived his life according to that. He made me think about what is important in my own life and, without trying to, made me want to be more like him. Some people talk about those things, and some people try them on to see how they'll fit. Kirk Shreve was the real deal. I don't know what we will do without him.
----
v2i34