Archive: Opinions

The conceits of Hollywood astonish me.  My latest peeve is the warning at the beginning of just about any non-broadcast network shows (which is most of them, and even the broadcast networks have streaming versions such as NBC's Peacock or CBS All Access on which they can be as offensive as they please).  More and more television shows begin with a warning: "The following is intended for mature audiences. Discretion is advised," intoned in a deep, full-throated voice so we'll know this is important.

Theoretically only a mature person will actually exercise discretion.  A show may be intended for mature audiences, but saying so simply encourages immature people to watch it.  Because they are immature.  And not discrete.  At the same time it may encourage discrete people with certain value systems to avoid watching.  Since this warning is often followed by a list of things that might be offensive, presumably, to immature audiences such as nudity, language, smoking (smoking?)... immature audiences that weren't hooked by that 'discretion' warning are certainly hooked now.

One of my favorites in 'brief nudity'.  What does that even mean?  That an almost nude character in the drama doesn't favor boxers?

Last night we watched an episode of a show with a 'brief nudity' warning in which three girls were magically turned into eels (if you're wondering, we never learned why they were turned into eels.  They just were).  They were standing on a rock when all of a sudden they seemed to disappear as their dresses fell to the ground, bringing to mind the demise of the Wicked Witch of the West in 'The Wizard of Oz'.  A moment later they were shown naked -- but not as tantalizing as you might think, since they were eels squiggling on the rock.  Now, it is true that they were naked eels, and we only briefly saw them.  And I suppose that if any mature, discreet eels were watching they might have gotten a rise from the scene or chosen to watch something else.

I looked up 'discretion' in the dictionary.  The first definition read, "the quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense or revealing private information."

So lets assume the producers of a show are posting the warning so that sensitive souls won't be offended.  They acknowledge by this warning that they themselves are not, in fact, discrete.  Because they have identified a number of things in their entertainment that they believe will definitely cause offense, at least to some people, and they did them anyway.

Even established franchises like Star Trek are getting on the 'mature audiences' bandwagon.  I've seen a couple of interviews in which some of the people who make the show marveled at how the franchised has evolved to the point where they can (and often do) use the 'F' word on the new 'Star Trek: Picard' series.  Those mature and discreet among us may argue that it has devolved.  Of course calling it the 'F' word is another way we can appear to disapprove of something while identifying that something in the process.



My favorite Star Trek example, though, is the warning Netflix slaps on the pre-'F'-word Treks: "violence, sex, nudity, fear, substances, language, and gore".  OK, I can see violence, sex, fear, substances, language, and gore.  There is a lot of fighting in Star Trek, and let's face it, the Klingon language is generally offensive.  And have you noticed how many cross-species characters they have on Star Trek, boldly going where no laws of genetics have gone before?

Actually, a lot about Klingons fits the bill here: their food is gory and they fight a lot.  Other people (and aliens) are afraid of them.  I don't really remember whether they smoke, but since they enjoy eating live worms and blood wine I wouldn't put it past them.  (is there really blood in it?  Well, believe it or not there is a Star Trek Cookbook (of course there is) that says fermented blood and sugar are used in the making of blood wine.) There are usually two sexes (sometimes more) in Star Trek, so that covers 'sex'.

The one that gets me is 'nudity'.  I don't believe there is any actual nudity in any of the Star Treks.  There were some episodes in which it played a part.  For instance there were some pretty steamy decontamination room scenes in Star Trek Enterprise where T'Pol, a sexy looking Vulcan, and one or another male shipmates disrobed to slather decontamination gel on each other.  But they were never actually shown naked.  It was more a case of the age-old Hollywood convention where the camera shows a dress falling to the floor, then cuts to show the unclothed top of the woman (above her breasts) to infer that she is actually naked.

And (another pet peeve) those thousands of so-called sex scenes in television shows almost since television was invented -- that show a clothed couple, supposedly after having sex and/or covering themselves demurely with a blanket.  Who are they hiding from?  The camera doesn't exist in their fictional world, so it can't be from union film crew workers.  Doesn't anyone in Hollywood actually get undressed for sex?

When I was a kid I learned that many foreign countries had sex and nudity in their programs, and that the United States was quite prudish by comparison.  So this is not a new thing.  It's just new to us.  And as long as we are having things that Hollywood ingenuously contends are offensive foisted on us, shifting the responsibility and blame to each viewer's alleged maturity, let's go back to a very basic premise that is taught in Drama 101.  Well written drama only includes things in scenes that further the story (in the sense of the verb: help the progress or development of something; promote), and leave out gratuitous things, because they confuse the drama which, theoretically is a focused artwork leading to a moving climax (no, you dirty minded reader, not THAT kind of climax).

So after doing what they would have us think is the responsible thing in warning us away from their work that they don't want us to not watch, I would say that at least 85% to 95% of all the sex and nudity in today's TV shows is gratuitous.  And maybe 75% of foul language in these shows is also just there for the sake of seeming young or cool or whatever, but does nothing to make the drama progress to its denouement.

Let's be real.  How many 11-year olds have you known who tried (and sometimes succeeded) to sneak into PG-13 rated movies, or 13 year olds who sneaked into R rated titles?  They could even see those films legally if accompanied by a responsible, mature adult.  And who rated the adults for their discretion?  Well, no one.

Even if those ragamuffin-toting adults were carded, ticket sellers only knew that they were over 21 (if the IDs weren't fake).  My drivers license tells my age, gender (it says 'sex' on the license,not 'gender', which I suppose is a gratuitous attempt to get immature people to view drivers licenses), height, and eye color.  It doesn't say anywhere on the document whether or not I am mature, responsible, or discreet.

The very inference that not being mature is a bad thing is insulting and offensive, especially from television writers who increasingly and gratuitously insert social and political messages into their programs.

Offensive, that is, unless you are mature.  I'm no expert.

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