- By Dan Veaner
- Opinions
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EditorialTelevision is bad enough with seasons you can't figure out and an excess of commercials. But for sports-impaired people like me, the next two weeks are going to make my cable bill seem like flushing money down the toilet. My family normally records what we want to watch on a DVR and wait for shows we like to collect. But when there's nothing to collect, what's a couch potato to do?It seems as if the networks just give up when an event like the Olympics is shown. The other major broadcast networks just show repeats, hoping that we desperate CPs (Couch Potatoes) will watch shows we didn't want to watch the first time. But I usually don't want to watch shows that I don't want to watch, no matter when they are shown. Call me crazy -- I'd rather read a book than watch something I don't want to watch. Then again, they've been showing reruns of 'Hogan's Heroes' recently...
I checked tvguide.com to see what I can look forward to while the Olympics dominate the cable. On Friday during the Olympics opening ceremony CBS is showing a new episode of 'Swingtown.' But I don't like the idea of Swingtown. And I don't want to watch swingers, even fictional swingers. Well, maybe if Tarzan were involved, but that is a different kind of swinging.
Channel 56 has new episodes of 'Puppy Games.' But that's sports for baby dogs. I'm just not a sports guy.
On Saturday there are new episodes of 'Suburban Secrets' on truTV. I grew up in a suburb. But I don't think there were any secrets there. If there were, they were secret. But I didn't feel like I was missing anything. On Sunday CBS is showing a new episode of 'Big Brother.' Maybe they think nobody watches that show normally, so it doesn't matter when they show it. To me that show is gratuitous voyeurism without any kind of payoff, so it won't be showing up on our DVR.
But hmmm... USA Network has been airing original series, many of which are good, or at least bearable. They're airing a new episode of 'In Plain Sight' Sunday. We watched it for the first time last week, and it had its moments. Score! So far, one new show of some interest in three days of the Olympics. On Friday they have a new 'Monk' and a new 'Psych.' Fun and tolerable.
Monday PBS is airing a new documentary on Mohammed Ali. Bravo has a new episode of 'Date My Ex.' TNT has new episodes of 'The Closer' and 'Saving Grace,' two shows that have gotten good notices, but I haven't seen. And SciFi has four hours of Star Trek reruns. Well, scratch Monday. I usually have stories to cover for the paper Mondays anyway...
Tuesday another new 'Big Brother.' Oh boy! And ABC is airing a new 'Primetime Medical Mysteries.' The most promising show on Tuesday looks like a new episode of 'Smash Lab.' I've never seen it, but I assume they smash things. That could be fun... And SciFi has a new 'Eureka' -- that show actually is fun. Score!
Wednesday the Travel Channel has a new episode of 'Extreme Waterparks.' Have you noticed the shows they put on these days? With so many channels on the dial, it seems like the networks are desperate for something to show. I'm waiting for shows like 'Extreme Hangnail,' or 'Walking to the Drug Store,' or a show about some guy who does nothing but watch TV.
As slim as the pickings usually are, they are going to be extremely slim for us 'huh, what's football?' kinda guys. So that last idea could work. I could attach a video camera to the TV and point it at my chair. It would always be new, and it would never end. Kinda similar to the Olympics for sports-impaired guys like me.
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