Archive: Opinions

In this week's news the Associated Press reported that an Iranian cleric proclaimed that indiscreetly dressed women are responsible for causing earthquakes.  The idea is that these women anger God, who wreaks devastation as punishment.  Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says that as a result of indiscreetly dressed women an earthquake is certain to hit Tehran, and that at least five million residents should relocate to avoid the devastation.

In other news, the Associated Press reported that two Columbia Missouri sanitation workers allegedly took cases of expired beer from the city landfill, and the local police are determining whether it is a police matter.  And an Athens, TN. man was arrested for DUI (Driving Under the Influence) while driving a lawn mower.  Evidently he was fleeing the scene of a crime in which he stole fishing poles from a neighbor.

In January a Toledo woman punched a McDonald's employee as well as the drive through window when she was told they were out of McNuggets.  That was a bit more violent than the Fort Pierce, FL woman who called 911 three times after buying a McNuggets meal.  After paying for the meal she was told she could not get a refund, even though the restaurant was out of McNuggets, and she would have to choose another meal. 

Don't worry, McDonald's gets to fight back.  Last August one employee's 21 year old daughter slapped a customer who was complaining about the food in Lee County, FL. and then his wife did the same.

Luckily the enraged McNuggets women didn't get any ideas from the bums who were arrested last November in Perm, Russia for killing and eating a 25 year old man and selling the leftovers to a local kabobs and pies kiosk.  Sweeney Todd fans should beware in Perm!

On a kinder, gentler note a Columbus, OH robber returned to the scene of the robbery to ask his victim out on a date.  What was the worst she could say?  No?

And in January a man was caught stealing from the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) booth of Swann Security, which helped apprehend the thief with -- you guessed it -- a camera recording a security video.  The company sells security cameras and systems and was displaying them at the convention.

You never think these things are going to happen where you live.  Yet on April 13 a Brooktondale woman was caught attempting to pass a little marihuana to a friend.  The thing is, the friend was incarcerated in the Tompkins County Jail.  Pretty quickly she found herself in a cell in the jail in lieu of $500/$1,000 cash/bond bail.  Some people will do anything to see more of a friend!

All of these are stories that really took place over the past year.  Sometimes you just need something to cheer you up.  But I think the county jail authorities should beware: if that woman shows her bare arms, the jail could be struck by an earthquake and all the prisoners might escape.

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