Archive: Opinions

I suppose I was a normal student in terms of how much I liked school.  The second time around, however, I hated it.  Of course I'm talking about being a parent with kids in school.  Somehow trying to deal with teachers and worrying about student performance was a lot more intense when it was my kids and not me.  I worried, I stressed, and I worried again.  On a daily basis.  Friday's Lansing High School commencement changed all that for me -- the first one graduated.

Woohoo!

Things around here instantly changed.  It's not that he's over 18.  It's not that he's leaving for college in less than two months.  It's that I don't have to worry that he's doing well in school on a day by day basis.  I don't have to dread five week report cards.  A whole level of caring has been lifted from me with the presentation of one small document -- his diploma.

As an older parent my friends loved to tease me about the misery I would suffer when my kids became teenagers.  While we have our share of teenaged angst, I have to say that hasn't really been a big deal.  Every stage of their development has been a different kind of pleasure.  I am really enjoying the change in our relationship that more or less makes them equals rather than dependents.  For me the real suffering was school.

I guess the difference between the first and second time is that the first time I was responsible for my performance.  The second time I felt responsible for someone else's performance.  I wanted him to excel, because learning to excel makes one more successful in life and it would give them better opportunities going forward.

What I'm trying to understand now is that kids excel in different ways, and he really, really did excel in school and in life.  I can see that now that the veil of stress has been lifted.  My harping on always doing better no matter how well you have done is now balanced with how well he actually did do.  He did great.  Somehow, despite me, he has turned into a pretty great adult.  And he knows a heck of a lot of stuff, and has great analytical skills.

Commencement is aptly named.  It denotes a beginning, not an ending.  It's the beginning of great things in life based on the solid foundation of the education our kids received here in Lansing.  13 years of school seems like a long time to wait before you can begin, but it seems to be working.

After we had our second child I said we couldn't have more because we had run out of rooms in our house.  Now I would have to say no because the thought of going through school a third time -- well, it would probably kill me.  I have two years to go with my second child and then I am home free.  I am human and frail.  And grateful and very, very pleased that we got to this point where school doesn't matter beyond the fact of having a diploma.  What really matters is the exemplary human being that came out of it all.

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